A Thousand Hats: Another reason to knit

I have been struggling with creative ways to add my new reasons for this blog. Nothing has come to mind yet, and there are two more hats that need posting, so I will just say it.
Autism.

I recently found out my 5 year old son has it. Asperger's to be more exact. Most moms understand. We blame ourselves first and foremost, with things like, "I know I shouldn't have eaten this, or drank that" during pregnancy, or blame the genetics or God or the Hospital staff.

Then, we research. "I'm getting to the bottom of this. I will know everything there is to know" like, one in 110 (!) children will have some sort of autistic traits, or "on the spectrum" as it is normally discussed. We tell everyone about it like we are on msnbc or something.

Then, finally, there's an uneasy truce. At least in my case.
All I know, right now, is that my dear little boy isn't going to have the life I thought he would. I know I have a hard road ahead of me, and no, it isn't fair, but it is what it is. So I am doing whatever I can to make sure he has everything he needs to become a productive member of society.

Oh and I also have two other kids, a job, going to college full-time, a small 'paying hobby', and oh did I mention I'm doing this All. By. Myself.? Sure, Mom and sis are around to help with emotional support, and I have a place to sleep while I get through this, but anyone who has been even close to where I am at now knows. NOT easy.